9.30

I said
to myself

I was done.

I tried
to speak
or to say
anything
at all
to you

but when I did,
it didn’t sound
like my voice
this time,
or the last time.

I wasn’t
coming home
for hours,
I slept
in my car,
I went
to work.

I came home
early
some morning,
closed the door
behind me
slowly.

with you
sitting at
the end
of the table

you hadn’t
noticed
how long
I was gone.

I left
my bedroom
light on,

or
I didn’t
shut the door
behind me.

and it didn’t matter
that I had said
I was done
or that I stopped
going home

because it
had never
been up to
me.

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